Has anybody noticed what a vile, filthy world this has become? I mean, I know you know times have changed but have you simply sat down and given it a serious thought? The environment, politics, the types of crime, lack of remorse, churches closing, and everyone just partying. WTF has happened? Kids go missing and if found were molested and killed, 89-year-old women are raped and brutally murdered, families kill themselves, school kids are taught it’s ok to masturbate their friends because it isn’t “sex”. Every year there becomes a dozen new ways to get high. People throw out four billion tons of food a year while others DIE for the lack of food. There are places on earth where the people are lucky to get one glass of water a day, which, by the way, is technically not fit for drinking. Why, all this? And where do you fit in? How do YOU contribute to the filth? Do you recycle? Do you waste food? Do you turn off the lights when not really needed? Have you taken a Big Mac meal and a Chocolate shake to a homeless person that you never met before? Have you ever prayed for the kids that went to bed hungry last night. Just a little food for thought…..
Look here boys, some of you need to learn about “Man things”. Since your Daddies didnt educate you, I will. So here is Man Things 101. Allrighty then, class.
1. Never, never, ever, let your woman “make you over”. Women want to make you look like a fag, or just plain stupid, to keep other women away from you.
2. Don’t get pierced or tattooed because she says you’ll look cute. The truth is, the woman is getting you “branded” (yup, like cattle) thus forever leaving her mark of ownership on you. Even when you split up, her mark of ownership will always be there.
3. Don’t call a female “dude”. A dude is a man. Goddamnit, a MAN!
4. Bet you never would have guessed this one: Men are supposed to smell like MEN. Holy shit, do you think?! Men DO NOT spray cologne “down there”.
5. God gave you a pubic bush and hair on your balls because you are MEN. Leave it there; leave it alone! Enjoy being a man.
6. Men don’t highlight their hair. Come on, only bitch boys do that!
7. Pick out clothes that YOU like, not what she likes. Who lives in your body — you or her? Who gets talked about for looking like a fool? YOU do, not her.
8. If you like her plucking, picking, tweezing you, you are probably a homosexual. Do a reality check dude (dudette?)
9. “MEN” pick up the tab and would NEVER let a woman pay.
10. I saved the best for last. Men cry BUT NOT IN FRONT OF PEOPLE! Take it to the woods and let it out in private.