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e-Cigarettes and virtual smoke screens

English: Main side effects of nicotine (See Wi...

Choose your poison

I just read a bull shit article touting the safety and benefits of using electronic cigarettes.  Now I am so pissed at idiocy.  I am a scientist, how do these media fools think they can fool me??  Firstly, these e-cigarettes dose you with nicotine.  Let’s start with that.  They tout that nicotine is as harmless as caffeine.  This is an out-right lie.  Nicotine causes atherosclerosis — hardening of the arteries.  This condition is non-reversible.  Nicotine can also raise blood pressure to your organs and over time may damage them.

Another fraudulent claim is that there is no second-hand smoke.  Poppycock!  It may not be smoke but it is a visible vapor that contains nicotine, the users germs, and bad breath, and respiratory vapor i.e. LUNG CRUD.  I don’t want to breathe that crap!  Do YOU?  Here is yet another fraudulent claim:  It will help you quit smoking.  I really doubt that.  The victim (smoker?) is still getting nicotine, is still irritating the lungs, and is still feeding the psychological habit.

If I open another restaurant I will have prominently displayed “NO SMOKING OR ARTIFICIAL SMOKING DEVICES!”  I encourage other workplaces to follow suit and protect our workers and patrons.


Your Dad should have told you…

Dude, What Would Happen

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Look here boys, some of you need to learn about “Man things”.  Since your Daddies didnt educate you, I will.  So here is Man Things 101.  Allrighty then, class.

1. Never, never, ever, let your woman “make you over”.  Women want to make you look like a fag, or just plain stupid, to keep other women away from you.

2. Don’t get pierced or tattooed because she says you’ll look cute.  The truth is, the woman is getting you “branded” (yup, like cattle) thus forever leaving her mark of ownership on you.  Even when you split up, her mark of ownership will always be there.

3. Don’t call a female “dude”.  A dude is a man.  Goddamnit, a MAN!

4. Bet you never would have guessed this one:  Men are supposed to smell like MEN.  Holy shit, do you think?!  Men DO NOT spray cologne “down there”.

5.  God gave you a pubic bush and hair on your balls because you are MEN.  Leave it there; leave it alone! Enjoy being a man.

6. Men don’t highlight their hair.  Come on, only bitch boys do that!

7. Pick out clothes that YOU like, not what she likes.  Who lives in your body — you or her?  Who gets talked about for looking like a fool?  YOU do, not her.

8. If you like her plucking, picking, tweezing you, you are probably a homosexual.  Do a reality check dude (dudette?)

9. “MEN” pick up the tab and would NEVER let a woman pay.

10.  I saved the best for last.  Men cry BUT NOT IN FRONT OF PEOPLE!  Take it to the woods and let it out in private.

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