Today’s word for idiots:

A salami sandwich

say: SAND WICH !

Okay, today my biggest bitch is professional people who don’t know how to talk.  Listen to daddy Dave and I will teach you how to talk.  Our first word (are you looking, TV producers and actors?) is SANDWICH.  This is especially for you, Jimmy Dean.  It is NOT sam-mitch!  You other pretentious morons this is for you:   it is NOT sam-widge!  Let’s all take a deep breath now and follow me:  “sand”, and now, “which”!

Now all together: “sand“.  Good!  Now let’s say “wich“.  Excellent!  Now let’s put it all together.  Ready?  Here we go SANDWICH.  That is what we eat.  Now if I hear you say it wrong again I’m going to slap the piss out of you.

Here is another talking thing that grinds my gears.  People (especially women and gays) that hang their sentences like everything is a question. Example: “Having my own blog is cool.”  How do they say it?  What’s the difference?  “cool” suddenly goes up an octave and hangs like a question mark.

eye-eeee.  WTF?  “i.e” is an abbreviation, in latin, meaning “that is”  It is two syllables.  “That is” is also two syllables.  So why not say “that is” instead of saying “i.e.”?  It uses the same vocal energy and time.  Hearing most people speak “i.e.” sounds like a pig squealing.

Ever notice people who barely open their mouths when they talk?  What about people who mumble?  Another good one is people who use the wrong words; or worse yet, mispronounce everything.  What the hell goes on in schools these days?  Are the students not listening or are the teachers not teaching?  How do these people even get through college?  It must be part of a conspiricy; That’s it!


About Davie Says

I am a professional Chef/culinary consultant and volunteer firefighter. I have an opinion on everything! I say what I think and have no reservations about it.

Posted on January 4, 2012, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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